Thanksgiving isn’t just about turkey, pie, and family gatherings—it’s also the perfect time to sprinkle some humor into the mix. Whether you’re looking to break the ice at the dinner table, lighten the mood during a political debate, or get everyone laughing over your food coma, these funny Thanksgiving quotes are here to help.
From turkey puns to pie-inspired punchlines, here’s a roundup of the best funny Thanksgiving quotes to make your holiday as memorable as it is delicious. Share them with your family, post them on social media, or simply use them to keep your sanity while you’re elbow-deep in mashed potatoes.
Hilarious Quotes to Brighten Your Thanksgiving Feast
- “I’m just here for the pie.”
Who needs the turkey when the real star of the show is the dessert table? This quote sums up the thoughts of every dessert lover in attendance. - “May your turkey be moist and your pants be stretchy.”
Because no one wants a dry bird, and let’s be real—stretchy pants are an absolute Thanksgiving necessity. - “Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!”
We’re talking about emergency carb loading here. Rolls are the unsung heroes of Thanksgiving dinner, and they deserve to be passed quickly and often. - “Thanksgiving: Bringing out the best in stretchy pants since 1621.”
Seriously, elastic waistbands were invented for this holiday. No one leaves the table without wishing for a little extra stretch. - “Gratitude is the key to happiness. Pie helps too.”
Because what’s a little gratitude without a slice of pumpkin pie to go with it?
- “Stuffing is just seasoned bread, and I’m here for it.”
We don’t question the culinary miracles of Thanksgiving. Stuffing is magic, plain and simple. - “Leftovers are for quitters.”
Real Thanksgiving champions know that one plate is never enough. Leftovers? Only if you’re giving up too soon. - “Turkey: The only bird that’s better stuffed.”
If you’re not stuffed by the end of the meal, did you even Thanksgiving? - “Eat, drink, and cranberry.”
Cranberry sauce may be divisive, but this pun? Universally appreciated. - “Thanksgiving: The day we all eat like kings, but argue like peasants.”
Nothing brings out the spirited debates like gathering the whole family around the table.
- “I came in like a butterball!”
A Thanksgiving version of the infamous song lyric, because let’s face it, most of us wobble our way through the holiday. - “Thanksgiving: The one meal that requires a week of preparation and 20 minutes of consumption.”
The quicker you eat, the sooner you get to dessert, right? - “Let’s get basted!”
A cheeky toast for the holiday, this quote works just as well for wine glasses as it does for turkeys. - “Calories don’t count on Thanksgiving.”
A friendly reminder that, on this one magical day, you can pretend the rules of dieting don’t exist. - “Save room for pie? Challenge accepted.”
Because who doesn’t leave a little extra space for the sweet finale?
- “Thanksgiving: Because it’s rude to eat an entire pie by yourself.”
But hey, no judgment if you do. After all, sharing is optional. - “Why did the turkey cross the road? To get to the dessert table.”
A classic Thanksgiving twist on the oldest joke in the book. Dessert is always the answer. - “Gobble ‘til you wobble.”
This one’s practically a Thanksgiving anthem. The food coma is real, and we’re not mad about it. - “Let the stuffing be fluffy and the turkey juicy, and may no one bring up politics.”
The perfect Thanksgiving blessing for a peaceful and laughter-filled dinner. - “I came, I ate, I took a nap.”
The Thanksgiving trifecta of perfection.
- “I’m thankful for leftover pie. And also, family. But mostly pie.”
Just a reminder that priorities matter, especially when dessert is involved. - “There’s always room for seconds… and thirds.”
Thanksgiving plates are like hearts—they always seem to have room for more. - “Give thanks… or at least give me some mashed potatoes.”
In a battle between gratitude and carbs, carbs usually win. - “Feast mode: activated.”
Consider this your cue to dig in and not stop until the plates are empty. - “Wine pairs well with awkward family conversations.”
Because nothing smooths over an awkward moment quite like a good glass of red.
- “I yam what I yam, and I’m thankful for sweet potatoes.”
A little Thanksgiving wordplay that’s as sweet as the dish itself. - “Life is full of stuffing and gravy.”
A deliciously optimistic outlook on the holiday season. - “Thanksgiving: The official carb-loading holiday.”
Athletes aren’t the only ones who need fuel. Thanksgiving requires a strategic carb-loading plan. - “I’m on a roll… pass the butter.”
Thanksgiving wouldn’t be complete without a pun that’s as soft and golden as the bread basket. - “Turkey, stuffing, and gratitude—one of these things is optional.”
Guess which one you can’t skip? (Hint: It’s the stuffing.)
- “Save the neck for me, Clark.”
A Thanksgiving classic, this quote from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation never gets old. - “I don’t sweat—I glisten with gravy.”
Nothing says Thanksgiving glow like a little extra gravy on your plate (and maybe on your shirt). - “Stuffed is the new skinny.”
Forget fashion trends—Thanksgiving dinner defines a whole new look. - “The only exercise I’ll be doing on Thanksgiving is running to the dessert table.”
It’s cardio if you do it fast enough. - “Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble. Translation: Happy Thanksgiving!”
A turkey’s way of saying what we’re all thinking—enjoy the feast and have a great day!
- “Mashed potatoes are like a warm hug.”
There’s something so comforting about a big, buttery scoop of mashed potatoes. - “Happy Thanksgiving! Time to set your scales back 10 pounds.”
A Thanksgiving life hack we can all get behind. - “Just one more bite… said everyone, every year.”
It’s the phrase that signals the end of your belt’s patience and the beginning of your post-dinner nap. - “Turkey trot? More like turkey waddle after dinner.”
For those who start the day with a trot and end it with a waddle. - “I love you to the fridge and back.”
Because Thanksgiving love is measured in leftovers.
- “Count your blessings, not your calories.”
One of the few times of the year when gratitude outweighs the need to check your waistband. - “Whipped cream counts as a side dish, right?”
If you’re asking, the answer is always yes. - “Pumpkin spice and everything nice… except that one relative.”
There’s always one person at the table who’s a little less than nice. - “I yam thankful for Thanksgiving puns.”
Bad puns are the best puns, especially when they’re potato-related. - “Pie: The only thing that matters.”
All arguments end here.
- “May your hearts be as full as your plates.”
A heartfelt Thanksgiving wish wrapped in food-related charm. - “Pass the gravy, please and thank you!”
Gratitude is key, especially when asking for the gravy boat. - “Thanksgiving dinner: Proof that the best things in life are baked, roasted, and mashed.”
A delicious reminder of the holiday’s true meaning. - “Keep calm and gobble on.”
In case the Thanksgiving chaos gets too real, just keep calm and keep eating. - “Let’s raise a toast… to the turkey who gave us this feast.”
The unsung hero of Thanksgiving deserves a toast, even if it’s slightly awkward to talk about while eating it.
Thanksgiving is a time for food, family, and laughs, so what better way to enjoy the holiday than with these funny Thanksgiving quotes? Whether you’re sharing them around the table or sending them out in a group text, these quotes will bring a smile to everyone’s face—and maybe inspire a second helping or two. Happy Thanksgiving!
Additional Resources
Thanksgiving Coloring Pages (Free PDF Printables)
15 Special Thankful Thanksgiving Gifts for Teachers
16 Popular Thanksgiving Books for Kids to Enjoy
