Becoming a mother is something that every young girl dreams about if that is something that they have the desire.
My mom was always a women of value and knew her worth when my parents split up in the 2nd grade. I watched my mother grow as a person in the inside and out and did a lot of things that help her with her anxiety. I also watch my mom use prayer to get through hard times when she work multiple jobs to keep my sister and I afloat in a growing city in the south.
But how do you become a good mother? I mean what does that even mean and how do you know that you’re doing your best for your child?
After watching my mom for years in to my early adulthood these are the motherhood qualities that I have noticed about my mom that she will pass onto my sister and I when we have our children.
How to Become a Good Mother and Thrive in Mommyhood
Love Yourself First
Loving yourself first is the first thing that I would like to talk about because it’s imperative that this become the first quality of becoming a good mother. When you love yourself first than you’re able to spread and give love to others. Becoming a mom isn’t easy and you will be pushed and pulled into so many different directions so that’s why it’s important that you take care of yourself first by pampering yourself with mommy products before, during, and after birth.
Be Flexible
When it comes to being a mom you want to ensure that you’re a flexible parent. I know that you want everything to go your way when gentle parenting but you also need to keep in mind everything won’t go as planned. By allowing yourself to be flexible you take the stress off yourself and others around you.
Create a Positive Support System
Having a great support system is what help my mom navigate parenthood when moving my sister and I over 200 miles away from my dad. She used her mom which was her biggest supporter and her sibling when she decided that she needed a change of scenery. Over the years when my sister and I grew up in a city we didn’t know anyone. My mom built up a great support system through friends around town and trust worthy people through her job.
Be your Child’s Cheerleader
My mom was always my cheerleader when I got into trouble at school. Even when I was in the wrong and misbehaving as a child my mom always stood by myself defending me and is still doing it to this very day. When your child comes to you with a problem or concern hear them out fully and listen to what they have to say.
Keep a Mom Bag
Always keep a mom bag on you at all times when traveling to and from places. As a mom you want to ensure that you always keep kid essentials in your mom bag at all times to hold snacks, drinks, diapers, and any other things that are imperative on long trips.
Child Proof your Home
When working as a stay at home mom you will want to make sure that you child proof your entire home with baby gates and locks on every door. It can be so easy for an infant or toddler to fall down the stairs or burn their hands on a hot surface when you aren’t looking.
Follow through with Consequences, Apologize when you’re Wrong
Following through with consequences can be very tough if you’re the parent that doesn’t want to penalize your kid. As children get older they learn very quickly which parent is the authoritative parent they learn to know what is acceptable and not.
Give Praises as needed
When your child is doing something that’s good or you catch them in the act of doing something that promotes positivity in your family or in the community. Be sure to give praise when needed. Even when we hit the age of 40 and above we always want praises from our parents even when we get their age.
Love your child Conditionally and Unconditionally
I shouldn’t have to even say this but even as parents we sometimes can lose track of things and people over time when we don’t focus on our family. Do you love your child conditionally and unconditionally even when they disappoint you?
Teach your Kids about Money
My mom would always tell my sister and I to have our own money and not depend on any man or anybody. As I grew up I realized that she was right and that by depending on yourself and becoming independent you learn a lot about yourself and learn to take care of yourself whether or not if a man is in your life or not. Try out these credit cards here if your child is older.
Let your Child make Mistakes!
I know that as a parent we don’t want our children to make mistakes but we must learn that with mistakes that our children can learn from them to ensure that they don’t make the same mistakes over and over again. By letting your child make mistakes it teaches them responsibility, discipline, and patience when learning and trying out new things.
Teach them how to Cook!
Teaching your child how to cook is a great skill to have when they’re becoming independent on their own. Cooking with your child can be a great lesson that teaches many different skills such as patience, social skills, measurement, and simply following directions. Also, expose your child to new foods from different cultures such as Korean, Italian, American, or Filipino just to name a few.
Teach your child to Stand up for themselves!
My mom would always push yourself to the limit. Stand up for yourself when times get rough and don’t be a pushover for anybody. When you teach your child to stand up for themselves the won’t be so gullible to the lies that people tell them.
Get them involved in the Community
Growing up I’ve always wanted to try out Girl Scouts of America and that’s exactly what my mom put my sister and I in when growing up. I loved when my mom had us involved in the community because it taught us to appreciate all of the things that we did have in our life.
Travel with your child to NEW Places
You’ve be surprised at how many children can’t recognize or identify National monuments in their own country or has never been to the beach before. Traveling new places can really set your child apart from others because they have been exposed to new and exciting new places. Try going on a family day trip or weekend trip to a new places at least twice a month. I promise you your child will appreciate it later on in life.
Push them to follow their DREAMS!
I can’t stress this enough when starting out to raise your child. When your child finds out what they want to do with their lives even if they do change it so many times when they’re young please help them to reach those goals when they get older. Many children are prone to succeed if they know that their parent is right behind them when cheering them on.
Be your child’s first Teacher at Home!
When teaching your children how to sight words, math, science, or social studies. You want to teach them to become ready to learn by the time they enter Kindergarten or any other grade. Yes, teacher do teach your child at school but remember that you’re your child’s first teacher because you’re raising them from home.
Teach them Patience and Compassion for Others
As a mother you always want to ensure that your child is being on their best behavior when around others when you aren’t there. Do your child have patience when waiting on dinner? or playing at school? Would your child offer up their last piece of candy to another child, or just give away their things to charity without you even asking? Teaching them patience and compassion will teach them to know that they aren’t the center of attention at all times.
Teach your Child Manners
My grandfather before he passed would always say that manners would go far in life and he was right. Teaching your child manners at an earlier age will not only show them respect to others but also teach them discipline as well.
Teach them to RESPECT themselves
Do you respect yourself as a person? Do you teach your child to respect themselves as a person? Teach your child to respect themselves as a person and they won’t let anyone else walk all over them.
Teach them to RESPECT WOMEN
As the mother of your child and the one who carried your baby for months you always want to ensure that they respect you as not only as the mother of you but also a women in general. So many broken homes where children don’t respect their mother even when they carried them for so many months in the womb and think woman abuse is okay.
Talk about SEX and Babies early!
Okay so if your child is old enough to have this conversation than please let it come out of your mouth and no someone else. Teach them about sex and babies and give them the truth about where babies come from. Many children suffer from childhood trauma daily because their parents didn’t tell them what to look out for or protect them from their abuser.
Teach them Survival skills
Does your child know how to swim? What about start their own fire? What about changing the tire on a car? Your child should not only be book smart but street smart and wilderness smart as well. You just never know what child abuser is lurking or where they might wonder off to when you aren’t looking.
