Day after day of cuddles, snuggling up reading books, and enriching the lives of children with science experiences and art projects all day sounds like a dream job. In fact, that’s what many people think a stay at home mom does all day. Or better yet, they think you sit around watching TV, eating ice cream, and drinking coffee… yeah right! It’s unrealistic and unmet expectations like these that contribute to a growing number of women facing stay at home depression.
Deciding to become a stay at home mom is not an easy decision. Creating Pinterest worthy snacks, driving for hours in the car to get to playdates, sports practices, and doctor appointments, and cleaning up after another potty accident are just a few of the stressors that stay at home moms face. And, of course, stay at home moms often try to pick up a side hustle in their “free time” to help with the income side of things as well as keeping the house clean, managing all the schedules, feeding all the mouths, and barely getting enough sleep to get by!
Mental health has become an important topic of discussion these days, and it is great that Postpartum Depression is being screened for in your 6-week checkup, and your baby’s health checks for the first year. However, the topic of depression in stay at home moms is not talked about much, and needs to be.
About 1 in 5 working parents are staying at home according to the Pew Research Center, and of those, only 4 or 5% are dads. While staying home, moms can experience a loss of identity, isolation, lack of appreciation, and loneliness. All these factors can contribute to a rise of stay at home mom depression.
Sometimes it’s just a little baby blues, and a walk with a friend may be all you need to brighten you up. But, other times, depression can be debilitating and continuous, with days where getting out of bed can be difficult.
In this article, we will be looking at symptoms of stay at home mom depression, help for stay at home mom depression, and how to recognize stay at home mom depression in those you love!
Symptoms of Stay at Home Mom Depression
According to Psychiatry Today, depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. It can cause someone to feel sad or melancholy, lose their appetite, experience changes in weight, trouble sleeping, lack of energy, have difficulty concentrating, difficulty making decisions, and on the extreme end, thoughts of death or suicide. To be considered depression, symptoms must last at least two weeks.
It’s easy to see how many of these symptoms can be masked by a stay at home mom, making SAHMs more susceptible to ignoring symptoms of depression and waiting longer to seek help.
When you get up to feed your baby multiple times a night, feeling tired is a normal thing, causing lack of energy, difficulty concentrating and making decisions. It’s easy to feel sad when you must change diapers and clean up food from the floor repeatedly all day long! But keep track of yourself and ask yourself if you are more tired, more sad, or having more trouble concentrating than in the past. These could be signs that you might need help!
Help for Stay at Home Mom Depression
Step one of helping your stay at home mom depression is recognizing that you might have a problem. For someone who spends her days helping and nurturing others, taking care of yourself may be the last thing on your to-do list, and many of these symptoms can easily be excused or swept under the rug.
If you’re experiencing symptoms, it’s time to take action! Here are a few ideas to help:
- Make Plans: Make plans with a friend, a playdate for your kids, or coffee just the two of you, either way, make plans with someone who will lift you up and listen. Take time for relationships!
- Self Care: Self care is NOT a shower, and NOT grocery shopping… Although those things may give you a little break, they are not enough, so don’t deceive yourself. Make time for yourself. Ask someone to watch the kids and go for a walk in the park by yourself, read a book, do some art, create, do a project… whatever you like, but schedule time for yourself.
- Get off Social Media: Pinterest and Facebook share only the best in people’s lives. Nobody can live up to those expectations all the time! Turn it off, unsubscribe, whatever you need to do to stop those social pressures from making you feel like you’re less of a mom just because you don’t use cookie cutters to make cute shapes for your child’s lunch!
- Join a Mom’s group: Look up mom’s groups in your area, like MOPS, they meet every week or two and give you great support and encouragement!
- Seek Help: Talk to your doctor about options for you. They’ll likely recommend you to a counselor or therapist that can help you with either medication or therapy, or both.
Recognizing Stay at Home Mom Depression in Those you Love!
As moms, we have to look out for each other. Check in on your mom friends, invite them out for playdates and coffee. If you notice any of the symptoms we’ve talked about, talk to them about what you’re seeing and be honest with them. A lot of times we don’t see changes in ourselves or aren’t willing to recognize what is happening. That’s why we need our mom tribes to help us out, and speak out for us!
Conclusion
Stay at home mom depression is real and paramount. You can be of no help to others unless you care for yourself, as the saying goes “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. Caring for yourself is part of caring for others. Depression is a real thing that affects many moms, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. If you notice any of the symptoms of depression, seek further help.
Being a stay at home mom is hard work, and although it’s very rewarding, it’s also very lonely. Take care of yourself.
We’re here for you, too! Please let us know if we can help you at any time. Look through our articles, and send us a note! We’d love to hear from you and support you!
