Dads are notoriously funny people. With their famous “Dad Jokes”, roughhousing, getting the kids riled up right before bed time, and their torturous tickles, nothing beats a dad for humor!
Fathers have a way of lightening the mood when things get tough, helping you see things from a different perspective, and helping you become the best person you can. So, let’s honor your dad this Father’s Day with our Funny Fathers Day Quotes!
We have Funny Fathers Day Quotes, Funny Dad Jokes, Sweet and Funny Fathers Day Quotes, and The Best Funny Fathers Day Quotes!
Funny Fathers Day Quotes
- “Lately all my friends are worried they’re turning into their fathers. I’m worried I’m not.” -Dan Zevin
- “It is so embarrassing how I went from a person who did not care about anyone’s children. Then you have them, and you brag about the same stuff that you never cared about. And you tell people, he’s got four teeth, like they care.” -Seth Meyers.
- “When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.” -Dave Attell
- “Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38 percent of their ice cream.” -Conan O’Brien.
- “There should be a children’s song: If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.” -Jim Gaffigan
- “I gave my father $100 and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.” -Rita Rudner.
- “Having a baby is just living in the constant unexpected. You never know when you’re gonna get crapped on or when you’re gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns to hysterics.” -Blake Lively
- “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” -Mark Twain
- “Dads are most ordinary men turned by love into heroes, adventurers, story-tellers, and singers of song.” -Pam Brown
- “Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” -Jon Stewart
- “My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.” -Jeff Foxworthy
- “I’ve been to war. I’ve raised twins. If I had a choice, I’d rather go to war.” -George W. Bush
Funny Dad Jokes for Fathers Day
- Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.
- My son wants 50% of my Father’s Day gifts. He says if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even be a father.
- I asked my dad to help me with a math problem. He said: “Don’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: “No, it’s a math problem.”
- You can tell it’s almost Father’s Day. The kids suddenly want to stop at all the garage sales
- I’m laying in bed reading a book when my dad walks in with a tape measure. About five feet away from me he stops and starts pushing the tape out to me. It gets closer and closer until it eventually smushes against my cheek. I asked him, “What are you doing?” He responds, “I’m measuring your patience.”
- Son: I’ll call you later. Dad: Don’t call me Later, call me Dad.
- There’s a big difference between bad jokes and dad jokes. And that difference is the first letter.
- I know what I’m getting for Father’s Day. Last night my daughter asked me what size aftershave I wear.
- “While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, “Daddy, you’re the boss in our family, right?” The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, “Yes, my little princess.” The girl then continued, “That’s because mommy put you in charge, right?”
- I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, “You.”
Sweet and Funny Fathers Day Quotes
- “Lately all my friends are worried they’re turning into their fathers. I’m worried I’m not.” -Dan Zevin.
- “The only way I can describe [fatherhood]—it sounds stupid, but—at the end of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, you know how his heart grows like five times? Everything is full. It’s just full all the time.” -Matt Damon
- “One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.” -George Herbert
- “Life doesn’t come with an instruction book—that’s why we have fathers.” -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
- “Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you’re 12, but every day.” -Mike Myers
- “It’s the most profound gift and the most daunting challenge.” -Matt Bomer
- “Everyone talks about the joy of having kids—blah, blah, blah. But I never knew how much I could love something until I looked in the faces of my children.” -Brad Pitt
- “The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.” -Tim Russert
- “A father carries pictures where his money used to be.” -Steve Martin
The Best Funny Fathers Day Quotes
- “Being a dad isn’t just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.” -Ryan Reynolds.
- “My sisters and I can still recite Dad’s grilling rules: Rule No. 1: Dad is in charge. Rule No. 2: Repeat Rule No. 1.” -Connie Schultz
- “Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” -Ray Romano
- ” ‘ Have fun’ is my message. Be silly. You’re allowed to be silly. There’s nothing wrong with it.” -Jimmy Fallon
- “Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of Ikea cabinets.” -John Kinnear
- “Raising kids may be a thankless job but at least the pay sucks.” -Jim Gaffigan
- “By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” -Charles Wadsworth
- “It doesn’t matter what time of the night it is or how tired you are, they make you smile, they make you happy.” -David Beckham
- “You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” -Jerry Seinfeld
- “The worst part about being a parent is when one of your kids farts and you have to pretend it wasn’t cool.” -Rob Delaney
Conclusion
Dads are the greatest! They sweep us off our feet, encourage us when we’re down, and make us laugh in the tough times. Honor your dad this Fathers Day with some great Funny Fathers Day Quotes! What better way to honor the funny man himself than with a few laughs!
We hope you enjoy our homage to fathers with these great Fathers Day Quotes. And when a joke’s just not enough, one of these Dad Gift Ideas is sure to be a winner!
